Like most women. Glenda has been dreaming of her wedding since she was a little girl. But now that it’s around the corner, she is weighed down by all the things she needs to to to make her wedding the fairtale that she has always wanted. She never thought that planning a wedding a wedding could be such a headache. From the day her fiancé popped the question, the great elation she felt has since dwindled to near distate for the big day.
Nobody said that planning a wedding would be easy but many brides and their grooms don’t expect it to be so overwhelming. Once you zero in into the details, there is a lot to plan for. Apart from the real work, there is the money aspect of it.
Weddings are getting more and more expensive and the bigger your dreams is, the bigger the budget. Many a couple find themselves weighed down by planning and the stress actually impacts other aspects of their lives especially the relationships itself; with brides turning into ‘bridezilla’ if they are not getting their way.
It is possible to have a wedding and still keep your keep your head about you? Can you plan your wedding without alienating your family, friends and most importantly your fiancé? Yes you can. Here are tips to help you plan.
Do not procrastinate
From the moment you know that you are getting marries, start planning, Rogers Kisitu of forever events says that you need about a year to plan your wedding. “These days, you need about a year to book your church venue and even people getting married. You might get the church booked but find that the venue of your desire is unavailable on that day. That is why I would advise couple to start a whole year in advance so that they avaoid any disappointments or be forced to have their wedding during the week,” he says.
Spreading out on your planning overtime will also ease the burden of it so get on it as soon as possible.
Ask for help
Tell your friends what you envision your wedding to be like and ask them to help you come up with themes, colour schemes and other ideas. You will get more wonderful ideas with a little help.
Utilise social media to plan with your committee. You can have an e-mail group or facebook page where you can keep your friends updated with your planning and also get ideas from people without having to meet in person. This gives people time to contribute to your day in their free time without hassle.
Plan & Budget
Once you have set the date for the wedding , draw up a plan , a kind of timeline to guide you on planning for the big day. Once you have listed all the things you will need to do, put them down on the timeline so you have a spefic time allotted to a specific item.
Also, make a budget and stick to it. Pelga Origasha of Dashing Tale Events acknowledges that weddings are getting bigger each year, with couples breaking the bank to fund weddings they can’t really afford.’
“Stick with what you can afford so that you can avoid unnecessary stress, “ she says. “I would advise brides to do research beforehand and put a price on all the things they want like the gown, hair, nails, makeup etc. So you have a distinction on what you can afford and what needs to be out on the wedding budget for the meetings.”
Limit service providers
The less people you have to coordinate, the better. Kisitu of Forever Events say if you can get several services from one provider, utilize that opportunity. For example, get a venue that can a venue that can also provide the tables, chairs, linen, lighting, music and PA systems and even food plus drinks. This way, you will get a discount easily and also minimize the number of contacts.
Get a wedding planner
If you should shoulder the expenses, hire someone to shoulder the burden for you. Good wedding planners are available these days to help plan your wedding. Don’t feel like you are abdicating your role to someone, you can still make all the big decisions but she/he will work out the details. Pelga says that they are especially important in identifying the best service providers and can even get you good deals.
When you feel you are getting stressed out, take off time to exercise either by running, walking or going to the gym. Pelga advises brides to also use this time to have a facial and nails done months before the big day. A massage with your bridal entourage could also help release some stress. Also, by keeping fit and maintaining a healthy diet, you will have more energy to expand towards your wedding preparations while you are also keeping in shape for the big day.
Sometimes you might not be able to afford your dream wedding but it is not the end of the world. You should b willing to work within your budget. If you can’t have lilies, settle for roses. If you can’t afford expensive band, get a cheaper option. Remember that the wedding is only the beginning of the rest of your life.
Sarah Akwi says she had six months to plan her wedding but all pleasure she felt came from herself or fiancé.
“A wedding is special but it is about two people who are in love and have decided to make a commitment to each other and that is what matters most. We have such unrealistic expectations of the wedding day that we make it bigger than it really is. Think of it as a beautiful, important but fun day”, she says.
Once people look at a wedding more objectively, they will be less stressed.
Managing wedding stress is all about understanding just how much you’re capable of handling and in turn, recognizing when you’re way in over your head. “Think critically about all the tasks you have on your plate relating to the wedding, everything from meeting with the decorator to compiling the guest list. While some things will obviously have to be handled solely by you, determine what task can be delegated and enlist close family members, friends and your bridesmaids to help execute all those finicky details,” says Pelga.
As the wedding draws closer, your committee should take over all responsibility and liaise with the service providers. You don’t need people to be calling you on your wedding day.
Time for Each Other
The stress of planning and money worries can put a strain on the relationship, or limit your time spent with your together. Purpose to spend time together not talking about the wedding – not easy but achievable. Always remember that the end goal is the marriage not the wedding day only.
Benjamin says the last month to his wedding was nightmare that had him and his fiancé fighting to no end. Two weeks to the to the wedding, he called up his fiancée and drove them to Entebbe to spend the day at the beach. They laughed off the stress and came back determined to enjoy the rest of the their time.
You can’t please at all
“It is your wedding. Friends and family members especially parents often want to have a say in your specially day. Try to remind them that you and your partner are the ones getting married and be firm with this,” says Pelga. You cant please your old school parents who want traditional dancers and also your friends who want traditional dancers and also your friends who want guest artistes at the wedding without breaking the bank. This might mean putting your foot down.
As you plan for your wedding, there will be some stress but you can decide how much it affects you. There is nothing like the perfect wedding; so don’t kill yourself trying to be perfect with every details. So exercise, rest, play and enjoy the planning. You are the star of your wedding so don’t let the stress dull your shine on the big day